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Assessment of Polygamy

Assessment
Monday, 23 April 2007, 06:36 PM

The Grade is : 65.87 (Maximum grade 75)

 

Element 1:

How well does the introduction get the reader's interest, and describe the topic?

Weight: 0.25

Grade:

Excellent                           Very Poor

Feedback:

You did a great job when moving from general to narrow in the introduction.. Excellent!

 

Element 2:

How well does the thesis make an argument and follow a plan of development within a single sentence?

Weight: 0.25

Grade:

Excellent                           Very Poor

Feedback:

Your thesis is excellent, as you expressed your opinion and provide a plan of development, but do you think that the second part of your plan of development is related to the advantages?

 

Element 3:

How well does the body match the thesis and how well does it support the thesis through the use of evidence and specific examples

Weight: 0.25

Grade:

Excellent                           Very Poor

Feedback:

Well, you have strong paragraphs because you have three clear topic sentences. However, I think that it was better to combine the first two paragraphs together since they are talking mainly about the same point. Most importantly, you didn't give specific examples that support your third topic sentence for the third paragraph, not to mention that you start discussing new issue when talking about how polygamy reduces the number of spinsters. Please adjust this for the final portfolio.

 

Element 4:

Did the author attempt to use APA documentation?

Weight: 1.00

Grade:

Yes               No

Feedback:

Very excellent job indeed, but don't forget next time to give two sources at least

 

Element 5:

Did the author follow the assignment?

Weight: 1.00

Grade:

Yes               No

Feedback:

No examples or opinions about what Mojtabai or Richardson said, try to avoid this next time

 

Element 6:

How well does the conclusion re-emphasize or summarize key points; reaffirm the thesis and persuasive purpose in writing this essay, and perhaps deliver an appropriate call to action from your readers, or provide a satisfying sense of closure by exploring the implications of the argument in a more global sense.

Weight: 0.25

Grade:

Excellent                           Very Poor

Feedback:

Excellent conclusion! I have nothing to say

 

Element 7:

How good is the grammar and spelling in the draft?

5- Not a single error you can find
4- 1-2 minor errors
3- 1/3 of sentences contain errors
2- 1/2 of sentences contain errors
1- More than 1/2 of sentences contain errors
0- Unreadable

Weight: 0.25

Grade:

Excellent                           Very Poor

Feedback:

You have a mistake in parallelism in the sentence "solving the economical and cultural situation, the reasons of permitting it in the past exist nowadays, and ((men desire for having children carrying their names))"

The overall grammar is excellent. Well done!

 

Element 8:

In the end, does the author make a point worth making?

Weight: 0.25

Grade:

Yes               No

Feedback:

Very strong argument.

 

Element 9:

Imagine you are the teacher. Give the draft a grade on a 100 point scale.

Weight: 4.00

Grade:

Feedback:

Excellent job.

 

General comment:

I have nothing else to say. The essay in general is very good, but please follow my comments so as to get a higher grade in the final portfolio.

Good Luck!

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